Not Much Further (2020)
This work was to just show a normal day, how the burden of dysphoria affects as soon as leaving the house. Amplifying the feeling that people see the chest first and me second. I check my pockets before I leave the house, eat an apple, admire the view as I walk, and pick bilberries on the moor. It is a normal walk, normal day, but with the underlying nagging of the sledgehammer being in view.
The plaster cast is almost just an extension to the body, but a frozen one, like a photograph. It’s real and not, it doesn’t seem like it’s me but it is.
It’s a version that I can change and sculpt. It’s a normal day but it’s also a sort of pilgrimage, a sacrifice.
The title in relation to the wait for surgery, the fundraiser reaching its goal, keeping myself alive and unharmed, but also me trying to push myself during the performance.
Following the performance, just before I got Top Surgery, I revisited the rocks to see what may have been left. There was some hunks of plaster in the grass. I impromptu drew the motifs of the surgery that had been circulating my head for years onto these rocks.