Fine I'll do it myself (2020)

 

The first in a series of videos and sculptures created during lockdown which tackle the imposing trauma of chest dysphoria. The work references an ongoing work in which Bowler is growing his hair for the duration he is waiting for chest surgery from the NHS Gender Clinic. These waiting times, extended by transphobic government guidelines & advice as well as complete closure of clinics during lockdown, leaving trans people in an unknown limbo. As the title implies, this wait is so unbearable that it is needed for the situation to be taken into one's own hands, to carve the body oneself. As the sculptor, Bowler alternates violent attacks on his chest, with caresses and subtle markings. The ending bitter sweet as when the chest is removed, the physical flesh chest is then revealed.